Home  Society + Culture We give you Lisa Timmons:
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We give you Lisa Timmons: |
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Written by Lisa Timmons
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So, I was told to write up a press release about the fact that I'm going to be blogging for "A Socialite's Life" (http://www.socialitelife.com) full time, hopefully crafting a clever, articulate, distinct voice for the site, with which I plan on dissecting daily celebrity gossip and Frankensteining it together in a way I hope you find amusing.
First off, I want to tell you not to worry. Nothing dreadful has happened to Miu von Furstenberg, the original, irreplaceable socialite, who has so graciously offered to hand the reigns of her beloved blog to me. In fact, she's simply gone on to bigger and better things and until I figure out how to attain trophy wife status, I'll be picking up here where she left off.
Now, I'm not gonna lie to you. Sometimes, it's not going to be pretty. Generally, it's going to be mean-spirited. More often than not, it may not even make sense. Constantly and often without knowing it, I will be making up words (see "Frankensteining") and bending the rules of English grammar.
But what I do promise, is that I will try my darndest to make you laugh. Or at least crack a smile. Because that's why I went to college. Not to learn a useful trade, or how to save peoples' lives, silly—but to amuse and entertain. Basically, I'm an expert at this, and I'd like for you to trust me.
I understand who you are. You're an office-schmuck, sitting at a desk, deciding whether or not to start a new game of solitaire, or surf the Internet for trashy, comforting gossip about celebs and their satellites.
I used to be just like you. I sat at a desk probably much like yours, craving amusement—a diversion at least slightly more sophisticated than watching my junk mail die a slow and painful death in the shredder. For years (well, about three or so—not even that, really) I toiled in the fiery bowels that are the administrative offices of reality television publicity. I finally reached a point where I could no longer stomach the frustration of the life an assistant and quit my job to pursue my dreams of working as a professional writer. At that point in my life, my only consistent means of creative expression was my blog, Office Monkey.
Then one day, much like a young, beautiful, Christie Brinkley strolling the streets of Paris, I was basically plucked from obscurity (i.e., responded to ad on Craigslist) and thus the wheels were set in motion for me to graduate into the life of a full-fledged professional blogger for "A Socialite's Life." And it's a good thing too, because between you and me, I was about a sneeze away from selling my eggs on Ebay.
For cheap.
So, what I guess I'm trying to express here so clumsily, so humbly is that yes, I am in fact better than you are. But don't worry, I still really, really care if you like me or not.
"A Socialite's Life"—come for the gossip, stay for the cattiness. And liberal use of the term, "bitches."
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